PTSD is often misunderstood. From the belief that someone can simply “let go” of the past to misconceptions about what a flashback looks like, discover the truth about PTSD, trauma responses and why people with PTSD may behave in ways that are not always obvious to others.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often portrayed in films and television as someone visibly reliving a traumatic experience: shouting, screaming, becoming aggressive or appearing completely disconnected from what is happening around them.
Although this can happen, PTSD and flashbacks do not always look like this. Someone can be experiencing an incredibly intense trauma response while appearing relatively calm to everyone around them.
There are also many misconceptions about PTSD itself. One of the most damaging is the idea that someone who continues to experience the effects of trauma is somehow choosing to hold onto the past, refusing to move on or allowing what happened to control their life.
PTSD doesn’t work like that. It isn’t a choice. It isn’t a sign of weakness. And it isn’t something that a person can simply decide to forget.
In this article, we’ll look at some of the most common PTSD myths and misconceptions, including what flashbacks can really feel like, why someone may appear calm while experiencing one and why recovery from trauma isn’t simply a matter of “letting go”.
What is PTSD?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event.
Trauma can include experiences such as:
- Serious accidents
- Physical or sexual assault
- Abuse
- Domestic violence
- Military combat
- Serious illness or medical trauma
- Childhood trauma
- Natural disasters
- Witnessing serious injury or death
- Other experiences involving significant threat or danger
Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD. In fact, it is normal to experience difficult emotions, intrusive memories, anxiety or changes in sleep following a traumatic event, and many people gradually recover. PTSD develops when symptoms persist and significantly affect everyday life.
PTSD can involve re-experiencing, avoidance, changes in thoughts and mood, and increased arousal or vigilance. But perhaps one of the most misunderstood symptoms is the flashback.
Myth 1: “They just need to let go of the past”
This is one of the most damaging misconceptions about PTSD. Someone with PTSD isn’t deliberately choosing to keep thinking about what happened. They aren’t necessarily dwelling on the past because they want to. And they aren’t refusing to move on.
In fact, many people with PTSD desperately want to stop thinking about their traumatic experiences. They may actively avoid talking about what happened. They may avoid particular places, people, conversations, films, smells or situations because they don’t want to be reminded of the trauma.
Avoidance is actually one of the recognised symptoms of PTSD. The problem is that traumatic memories can sometimes be triggered automatically. A person might hear a particular sound, smell something familiar, see an object or find themselves in a particular situation, and suddenly experience a powerful emotional or physical response.
They haven’t consciously chosen to remember. Their brain and nervous system have responded to something that has become associated with the traumatic experience.
Myth 2: “If they wanted to move on, they could”
PTSD isn’t simply about remembering something unpleasant. For someone with PTSD, reminders of trauma can trigger responses involving the brain, body, emotions and nervous system. A person may understand intellectually that the event happened in the past, yet their body can respond as though danger is happening again.
They might experience:
- A racing heart
- Sweating
- Trembling
- Panic
- Nausea
- Muscle tension
- Rapid breathing
- Feeling frozen
- Feeling detached or numb
- Intense fear
- A sudden urge to escape
- Intrusive images or memories
The person isn’t necessarily deciding to react this way. Their threat-response system has been activated. This is one reason why simply telling someone with PTSD to “forget about it”, “stop thinking about it” or “move on” is unlikely to help.
Myth 3: “A flashback means someone thinks they’re physically back in the traumatic situation”
This is another common misunderstanding. A flashback can involve a very vivid re-experiencing of trauma, but not every flashback looks like a dramatic scene from a film.
There is no single way to experience a flashback. For some people, it can involve vivid visual images. For others, it may be primarily emotional or physical.
Someone might suddenly experience:
- A powerful feeling of fear
- The sensation of being trapped
- A particular smell or taste
- A physical sensation associated with the trauma
- A sound
- Fragments of images
- Intrusive thoughts
- Intense bodily sensations
- A feeling of impending danger
- A sense that something terrible is about to happen
They may not consciously understand what has triggered the reaction. PTSD flashbacks can include reliving the traumatic event as well as physical symptoms such as a racing heart or sweating. Thoughts, feelings, objects, words and situations associated with the trauma can all trigger symptoms.
Myth 4: “Someone having a flashback will shout, scream or lash out”
Not necessarily. This is one of the biggest differences between the reality of PTSD and the way flashbacks are often portrayed on television.
A person experiencing a flashback might:
- Become very quiet
- Stare into space
- Freeze
- Look frightened
- Become withdrawn
- Stop responding normally
- Cry
- Become confused
- Look as though they are somewhere else
- Become very still
- Try to leave the situation
- Become restless or agitated
They may not shout at all. They may not cry. They may not visibly react. And they may not even appear particularly distressed to someone watching them.
A flashback can happen internally. The person may be experiencing a powerful combination of memories, sensations, emotions and physical responses while an outside observer sees very little.
What does a flashback look like to someone else?
This is important because PTSD can sometimes be invisible.
Imagine someone sitting quietly in a room. They suddenly become still. Their eyes may remain open, but their attention seems to have gone somewhere else. They may stop participating in the conversation. Perhaps their breathing changes slightly or they appear distant.
To another person, they might simply look distracted. But internally, they could be experiencing an extremely distressing trauma response.
Another person might become restless, repeatedly checking their surroundings or looking for an exit. Someone else might become irritable. Another person might become completely silent.
There is no single appearance of PTSD.
PTSD can involve hypervigilance, being easily startled, sleep problems, irritability and difficulty concentrating, but it can also involve emotional numbness, detachment and social withdrawal.
Myth 5: “If they look calm, they can’t be having a flashback”
This is particularly important.
Someone can look calm while experiencing significant internal distress.
Some people respond to overwhelming situations by becoming very still or emotionally disconnected. This can sometimes be described as a freeze response or may involve dissociation.
Others may have learned over time to hide their emotional reactions. They may have become very good at appearing “normal” while internally feeling frightened, overwhelmed or disconnected. This can make PTSD particularly difficult for other people to recognise.
Someone may go to work, look after their children, hold a conversation and appear completely composed while privately struggling with intrusive memories, nightmares, anxiety and exhaustion.
Myth 6: “People with PTSD are unpredictable or dangerous”
PTSD does not make someone inherently dangerous.
Some people with PTSD experience irritability or angry outbursts, and heightened arousal can sometimes contribute to aggressive reactions. But these are only some of the possible symptoms, and they certainly do not define everyone with PTSD.
Many people with PTSD are much more likely to avoid situations and withdraw from others than to become aggressive. They may become isolated because they are exhausted, anxious or afraid of being triggered. They may avoid social situations because they don’t feel safe. They may find it difficult to trust people.
Understanding this distinction is important because fear and misunderstanding can add another layer of isolation to someone who is already struggling.
Myth 7: “People with PTSD should remember everything about what happened”
Traumatic memories don’t necessarily work like ordinary memories. Someone with PTSD may remember certain details extremely vividly while having gaps or uncertainty around other parts of what happened.
They might remember:
- A particular sound
- A smell
- Someone’s voice
- A facial expression
- A physical sensation
- A particular image
- The feeling of terror
but have difficulty remembering the sequence of events. Problems with remembering aspects of the traumatic event can occur as part of PTSD.
This is another reason why trauma shouldn’t be judged according to how clearly someone can describe what happened.
Myth 8: “Talking about the trauma will always make PTSD worse”
Talking about traumatic experiences needs to be handled carefully and appropriately. A person should not be pressured into describing their trauma before they are ready.
However, avoiding everything associated with trauma can also become part of the cycle that keeps PTSD going. Appropriate psychological treatment can help people gradually process what happened and learn to respond differently to memories and reminders.
Evidence-based treatments for PTSD include trauma-focused psychological therapies, including trauma-focused CBT and EMDR.
The important point is that trauma therapy isn’t about forcing someone to relive everything before they’re ready. A suitably trained professional will consider the person’s individual circumstances, symptoms and readiness for treatment.
Myth 9: “A person with PTSD is stuck in the past”
It may sometimes appear this way from the outside. But someone with PTSD may actually be trying very hard to live in the present. They may have changed their routines, avoided reminders and tried everything they can think of to prevent themselves from remembering.
The difficulty is that the past can sometimes intrude into the present without permission. A trigger can activate a response that feels immediate and real, even though the original danger has passed.
This is why understanding trauma triggers and re-experiencing is so important. The person isn’t necessarily choosing to revisit the past. The past can sometimes intrude upon the present.
Why do seemingly harmless things trigger PTSD?
Following trauma, the brain can associate otherwise ordinary things with danger. A particular smell might have been present during the traumatic event. A certain sound might have occurred at the time. A location might resemble somewhere associated with what happened. Even a particular time of day, facial expression or bodily sensation can sometimes become associated with the trauma.
The trigger itself may be completely harmless in the present. But the person’s nervous system has learned to associate it with danger. Research into PTSD has explored how previously safe stimuli can continue to trigger fearful or defensive responses after trauma because they have become associated with the original threat.
This helps explain why someone can intellectually know:
“I’m safe now.”
while another part of their brain and body is responding:
“Something is wrong. Get away.”
PTSD isn’t always obvious
One of the most important things to understand about PTSD is that you cannot always see it.
Someone with PTSD may:
- Go to work every day
- Have a successful career
- Look after their family
- Socialise with friends
- Laugh and enjoy themselves
- Travel
- Appear confident
- Seem calm and happy
and still experience significant PTSD symptoms.
They may experience nightmares at night. They may dread particular situations. They may experience intrusive memories. They may constantly scan their environment for danger. They may have panic attacks. They may avoid certain places. They may experience flashbacks when nobody else is around. They may be exhausted from trying to appear “fine”.
PTSD exists on the inside as well as the outside.
How can you help someone experiencing a flashback?
If you think someone may be experiencing a flashback, the most helpful thing is usually to remain calm and avoid making the situation more frightening.
You can try to:
Stay calm
Your calm presence can help the person feel safer.
Remind them gently that they are safe
If appropriate, calmly remind them where they are and that the traumatic event is not happening now.
For example:
“You’re here with me. You’re safe. You’re in your home. It’s 2026 and you’re not back there now.”
Don’t demand an explanation
You don’t need to ask:
“What’s wrong?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Tell me what happened.”
They may not be able to explain.
Give them space
Don’t automatically touch or hug someone who is experiencing a flashback. Physical contact can sometimes be another trigger. Instead, ask if they would like you to stay nearby.
However, everyone is different and for some people, physical contact with someone they know and trust can help them to feel safe and orient themselves to the present. If you know the person, ask first if you’re unsure.
Help them reconnect with the present
If they are able to engage with you, gently encourage them to notice things around them.
For example:
- What can you see?
- Can you feel your feet on the floor?
- Can you hear my voice?
- Can you take a slow breath?
The aim isn’t to force the flashback away, but to help the person gradually reconnect with the present moment and their current surroundings.
Don’t tell them to “snap out of it”
A flashback isn’t something someone is doing deliberately. Being told to “get a grip” or “snap out of it” can increase shame and distress.
Patience, understanding and reassurance are much more helpful.
NIMH similarly recommends emotional support, understanding, patience and encouragement when supporting someone with PTSD.
Understanding PTSD can change the way we see trauma
Perhaps the biggest misconception about PTSD is that people who experience it are somehow weak, damaged or unable to move on.
The reality is much more complicated. PTSD is a recognised response to trauma involving changes in thoughts, emotions, memories, behaviour and the body’s response to perceived danger.
A person isn’t choosing to have a flashback. They aren’t necessarily choosing to avoid places or people. They aren’t necessarily angry, difficult or unpredictable. And they certainly aren’t choosing to remain trapped in the past.
They may simply have a nervous system that has learned to respond to danger long after the original danger has gone.
Understanding this can make a huge difference. It can replace judgement with compassion and frustration with understanding.
Most importantly, PTSD can be treated. The right approach will depend on the individual, their symptoms and their circumstances, but professional psychological treatment can help people manage symptoms and move towards recovery.
Frequently Asked Questions About PTSD Myths and Flashbacks
Can someone have a PTSD flashback without anyone knowing?
Yes. Flashbacks and other re-experiencing symptoms can be largely internal. Someone may appear quiet or distracted while experiencing significant distress.
Does everyone with PTSD have flashbacks?
No. PTSD symptoms vary from person to person. Flashbacks are one possible re-experiencing symptom, alongside intrusive memories, distressing thoughts and nightmares.
Can someone with PTSD look completely normal?
Yes. PTSD is not always outwardly obvious. Someone can appear calm and functional while experiencing significant symptoms privately.
Can you simply choose to stop having PTSD?
No. PTSD is not a choice. However, with appropriate treatment and support, symptoms can improve and people can recover.
Why does someone with PTSD react to something that isn’t dangerous?
A harmless object, sound, smell, situation or thought may have become associated with the original traumatic experience. The person’s threat-response system can then react even though the current situation is safe.
Does having a flashback mean someone has forgotten where they are?
Not necessarily. Flashbacks vary considerably. Some people experience vivid reliving, while others experience fragments, emotions, sensations or physical responses associated with the trauma.
Getting Help for PTSD
If you recognise some of these symptoms in yourself, it is important to remember that you don’t have to deal with them alone.
PTSD can be complicated, particularly when trauma has been repeated or occurred over a long period of time. A GP or appropriately qualified mental health professional can help you understand what you’re experiencing and discuss appropriate treatment options.
Hypnotherapy may also be incorporated into an individualised therapeutic approach for some people, depending on their circumstances and the therapist’s training and experience. It is important that PTSD is approached appropriately and that hypnotherapy is not presented as a guaranteed cure or replacement for evidence-based PTSD treatment.
Understanding what is happening is often an important first step. You don’t have to “let go” of the past before you can begin to heal from it. Sometimes, the goal is not to forget what happened. It is to reach a point where what happened is something you remember, rather than something you continue to relive.
